Why?
I'm really not sure how I should be feeling about this but DH has booked to fly to Japan for a ski-ing holiday two days before Christmas, returning in the New Year. He'll be meeting up there with a couple of his friends and their partners.
It was shaping up to be a very different/sad Christmas without V here anyways but now add to it that DH won't be here and it's just plain miserable.
There are a few things that really have upset me about the whole thing. I was never invited to go. There wasn't any discussion about the financial side of it. It was just taken as a done deal. But most of all it's hurt that he's disregarded my feelings and has forgotten that we made a promise years ago that the first time we traveled overseas we would do it together. The cost of the trip could have gone towards something that the entire family would benefit from.
I don't begrudge him the holiday, he more than deserves it and I would never think of demanding he not go...but it hurts.
I feel selfish for feeling pissed about it, but nonetheless the feelings are still there. Every time something is mentioned about the trip I feel like I want to explode. Now how selfish and narrow minded is that.
To top it off, the day he flies out is the annual Christmas get together at his mothers. She's demanded I and the kids still go and DH won't call her and tell her we won't be there. Last thing I and the kids need is to be interrogated by her and my SIL about V while I'm worrying myself sick about DH on his way to a foreign country and so far away.
I know, I know...selfish. Aarrggh I wish I could just suck it up and get on with things.
It was shaping up to be a very different/sad Christmas without V here anyways but now add to it that DH won't be here and it's just plain miserable.
There are a few things that really have upset me about the whole thing. I was never invited to go. There wasn't any discussion about the financial side of it. It was just taken as a done deal. But most of all it's hurt that he's disregarded my feelings and has forgotten that we made a promise years ago that the first time we traveled overseas we would do it together. The cost of the trip could have gone towards something that the entire family would benefit from.
I don't begrudge him the holiday, he more than deserves it and I would never think of demanding he not go...but it hurts.
I feel selfish for feeling pissed about it, but nonetheless the feelings are still there. Every time something is mentioned about the trip I feel like I want to explode. Now how selfish and narrow minded is that.
To top it off, the day he flies out is the annual Christmas get together at his mothers. She's demanded I and the kids still go and DH won't call her and tell her we won't be there. Last thing I and the kids need is to be interrogated by her and my SIL about V while I'm worrying myself sick about DH on his way to a foreign country and so far away.
I know, I know...selfish. Aarrggh I wish I could just suck it up and get on with things.
posted by Meg at
9:13 AM
3 Comments:
Meg,
You are not being selfish. I think you need to talk with your DH about how you're feeling - not in an angry, accusatory way - just talk. It's the most important tool to a healthy relationship - talking, being real. If you're too upset to do that, perhaps print off a copy of this post. I think it explains things beautifully. You don't want to begrudge him this trip at all but it has affected you and the family and I think he needs to know that.
The fact that he didn't discuss it with you first makes me wonder if he is feeling a twinge of guilt about the whole thing.
(((HUGS)))
Jodi
I have to second Jodi on this. You are definately not being selfish.
I wonder is he trying to run away from dealing with the V situation with his timing of the trip.
hugs to you honey. I know you are feeling pretty battered and bruised now and don't need this as well.
Triple the not selfish comments!
And I agree with jodi, if you dont think you can talk about it without sounding acussatory or over emotional or whatever other reason you might think of, then print that blog post, because it is really good, clear, concise and it shows that you are hurt and puzzled and that you dont wish to deny him his holiday, but you were counting on that promise of the first holiday overseas being together.
Also, dont feel pressured by the MIL, if your DH is going overseas and wont ring, then just dont go! If she rings you, tell her you will be dropping DH at the airport adn taking time out with your kids and will not be available to be at her party and that your DH was meant to call her about it.
Many Hugs!
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